When I am working with people in my art-based mindfulness programs, I learn A LOT about them simply by observing the way they approach a blank canvas or a blank page in their journals. In art, as in life, I can pinpoint the perfectionists, identify those who are prone to anxiety and anxious thoughts, recognize who might be susceptible to impulsivity or impatience (hello, Instant Gratification), and spot the excuse-makers and the people whose self-confidence and self-esteem is lacking. Reading this blog post will help you to more readily identify some of the patterns that hold YOU back in your professional and personal lives.
Whenever I launch a new class or series or begin work with a private client, I usually go through a little creative foreplay with the participants. I like to intentionally start slow so I can get a better handle on who I am working with, how they will respond to my instruction, and how I can best mentor them through their process. During this foreplay phase, I am met with a lot of typically predictable responses; and those responses tell me a lot about the people behind them.
The Perfectionist:
The perfectionist is typically a pretty good starter, but rarely a timely finisher. Perfectionists shy-away from freehand and abstract tasks because they thrive on precision—they want rulers and stencils and grids and step-by-step instructions. They are constantly doing things over and will often ask to throw out their project and start from scratch because it isn’t coming out “perfectly.” They will get visibly upset when they hit these road-bumps and then become paralyzed because their attachment to their perceived outcome is so strong.
In art, as in life, the perfectionist tends to be their own worst enemy. Perfectionists are self-critical and put an inordinate amount of pressure on themselves. They are often concerned with outside appearances and perceptions and don’t want to admit that having flaws is a normal part of the human experience. Their perfectionism is a barrier to their success, both in and out of the studio.
I often find myself asking the perfectionists a couple questions:
- What’s the worst that can happen and can you live with that?
- How can you let yourself be more focused on the process (and your progress) and less focused on the outcome?
I help people shift their thinking and stop catastrophizing.
The Comparer:
This person cannot even conceptualize their own process or project unless they know what every other person in the room is planning on doing. They typically spend a great deal of time both looking at other people’s work and uttering self-limiting beliefs (ex: I could never do that as good as you). If you fall under this category, you are often a follower and not a leader.
In art, as in life, the comparison attendee is prone to “failure to launch.” They want to be sure they fit in. Comparers get easily frustrated if their work doesn’t come out identical to the class sample or to their neighbors. They tend to forget where they are in the process and allow others to dictate how enjoyable and transformative the process is. They have significant trouble staying in their own lane.
I often ask the comparison crowd questions like:
- How can you infuse this project or this journaling prompt with your OWN voice, style, etc?
- In what ways can you make this your own?
- How can you begin to tie your worth to your own accomplishments?
I help my clients identify where inspiration ends and envy starts to take over.
The Impulsive and Impatient:
The two of these characteristics tend to go hand-in-hand and it’s a very self-destructive pattern. Oftentimes, the people who are prone to impulsivity start the project before I have even finished giving instructions. Because they are in such a hurry, they inevitably miss a step or do something incorrectly. Or they talk over me while I am presenting a project. Then they become impatient because it is more time-consuming to correct mistakes than it would be to listen attentively at the onset and do the project as described. The impulsive crowd tends to also subscribe to the “more is better” mindset: they over-apply paint, use too much glue…and get super frustrated when it takes longer to move to the next step.
In art, as in life, the impulsive and impatient get easily frustrated. These are the instant gratification people—the ones who freak out in traffic jams, in lines at the supermarket, and when their artwork isn’t drying quickly enough. They tend to forget that the tortoise often finishes ahead of the hare because the tortoise is more mindful and methodical.
I often ask the impulsive/impatient person questions like this:
- How would slowing down and being more mindful improve this process for you?
- Can you identify 3 ways you can be more mindful as we move into the next phase of this project?
- Where else in your life do you find yourself speeding through things only to have to go back and course-correct?
I help my students identify how mindfulness can improve all areas of their lives.
People Pleasers:
This crowd is incredibly disconnected from their own satisfaction because their worth is directly tied to pleasing others. They spend a significant time asking for validation and they need that validation before they can participate, move on, or find satisfaction in the process.
In art, as in life, the people pleasers aren’t in this for themselves. They want validation and reassurance. They want to be liked—at all costs. This people-pleasing can be a true barrier to connection!
I often as the people pleasers questions like:
- What do you like about your project? What are you enjoying about the process?
- How can you tap into your inner knowing and move forward without outside influence or opinion?
I help my program attendees recognize that people pleasing hides the real them.
Having these characteristics is not a BAD thing, but these characteristics can and will impede growth and personal satisfaction. It is truly imperative that people be able to recognize they ways in which these characteristics are problematic in their lives.
That’s Where I Come In!
My art-based process is a critical one in personal growth and self-awareness. It is a powerful component in goal-setting, pattern shifting, mindfulness, and authenticity! The clues that people leave when they are working with me or in my studio are integral to both their process and their progress.
Which one (or more) of these categories best describes you?
What did you learn about yourself by reading this?
Are you ready to make some shifts?
I am a reformed perfectionist and people-pleaser and these characteristics kept me stuck and highly dissatisfied in many areas of my life. I changed these patterns by doing the work that I now recommend to all of you. Come visit me in the studio or in one of my online programs and let’s do the necessary work to help you shift some of these debilitating patterns!