With the start of senior year, I find myself entering uncharted territory. She is pulling away from me and holding me at arm’s length for the first time ever.
Free flowing communication has been largely replaced by secrecy and silence. Even though she still needs her home base, she is cutting herself loose. I feel like everything I say is varying degrees of irritating.
It is developmentally appropriate—American girls are culturally expected to push their parents away when they most need their support—but it is still hard for me. My girls and I have always been very close and we have never had that explosive, temperamental mother/daughter relationship. I feel a profound sense of loss, even though I haven’t actually lost anything. It’s just….different. And I miss her.
I’m not yet used to this changeling who lives with me. But I love her fiercely, and unconditionally, and I have always done my best to love her in selfless ways that meet her needs and encourage her growth and independence. And, I’ll adapt—that’s what we mamas do. I keep reminding myself that even though I am not doing anything right in her eyes, it doesn’t mean I am not doing anything right.
Things will eventually come full circle. Right now, it’s just hard is all. <3
#mothersanddaughters #unchartedterritory #unconditionallove #milestones #mamaheart #gettingreadytoleavethenest #lovethemthroughit