About 5 weeks ago, I embarked on an online journey with 154 other women. I guess I was searching for something. I suppose it was a little bit of me just wanting to do something completely and totally for me — no kids, no husband, no family, no friends, no baggage. It was a little bit of me wanting to be creative and tap into things that make my soul happy; like photography, writing, and connecting with like-minded individuals. And, I think I wanted to delve in and do some personal exploration. In a safe place. With people who can relate. With people who are also exploring and reevaluating.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I feel blessed in that I am surrounded by really amazing acquaintances, numerous friends, and even some friends that could qualify as family. I’ve got Facebook friends, college friends, a scant number of high school friends, neighbors, co-workers, mentors, etc. My family is largely disjointed, but those that I am still close with are amazing. It is comforting to know that should I need something – a shoulder, a favor, advice – I have numerous places that I can turn. I think that a large number of the people associated with me truly like me, and maybe even love me. But, sometimes the best place to go to just be you and to really reconnect with your values and principles is a group of complete strangers. I found this out on May 30th and I am so incredibly grateful for the experience.
I am completely and utterly a work in progress (yes, I admit it) and I try to grow and learn each and every day. I would be kidding myself if I thought that I was the best I could possibly be right now — there is always room for improvement (I don’t know a single soul who is perfect and has no room for growth). I guess you could say I am kind of on a visceral journey of late. A journey where I strive for heart, head, soul, values, and passion to all align. There isn’t a person on this earth that can’t teach me something (even if it’s how NOT to act) or give me a gift. Many people find that concept strange. An anomaly. Many more people simply cannot relate. But, not the group of women that I am Unravelling online with. They get it. They applaud it. They are on the same journey and we have connected in ways that seemed kind of implausible at first.
Through a series of assignments, we have shared so completely and honestly with each other. We’ve bared our souls, raw and vulnerable, and there are things I have shared with them in the confines of this class that I have not – and will not – share with anyone else. They are all on a pilgrimage, too. Some on a journey of self-discovery, some recovering from physical pain or trauma, some finding their way back after losing a loved one far too soon, some trying to reclaim themselves after a failed marriage. A group of phenomenal women. A group of loving and daring women. Shy women, strong women, unique women. Some women who I only know by a screen name, their real identity yet to be revealed. Many of whom have blown my mind and opened my eyes over the past 5 weeks. Many who have made me laugh. And cry. A few who want to join me for beers. Some who I hope to get to know more deeply after this course is over. A few who I would be proud to call my friends.
It is in this moment that I am loving the internet and how it makes the world much smaller if you let it. I am loving Susannah Conway and all her brilliance. I am loving the fact that I gave myself a gift, and it turned out to be so much more than I had hoped for, and exactly what I was needing at the time. I am loving these women, who reside all around the world, and feel that I have learned more about myself (and others) in the past 5 weeks than I did over the past 5 years. I feel another shift coming. I feel a resurgence. I have some great ideas and a clearer picture of what my mission is. I feel more on path and on purpose. I might have to drive through the slums a bit to get to my destination — but I will arrive there. I feel so incredibly grateful for this community and for the kindness of a group of virtual strangers.
So, thank you for all you have given me, my Fellow Unravellers. I appreciate you more than you will ever know. XOXO