I get it. Miley Cyrus performed on the VMAs and was an absolute train-wreck! We
were collectively sad, puzzled, and offended. But in all honesty, do you know what’s worse than Miley’s twerking? The
fact that we are a nation of people who think that our shit don’t stink!

Given the history of the
VMAs and the shock-and-awe performances dating back to 1984 with Madonna and “Like a Virgin,” I don’t know why we still give these
stories the time of day. We, as a society, seem to have a collective case of
amnesia. Doesn’t anyone else remember the societal outrage spawned by
performances from the likes of Madonna, Prince, Britney Spears, Kanye West,
Nirvana, and Lady Gaga? As far as the VMAs go, it’s S.S.D.Y. (Same Shit,
Different Year).


VMA outrage

There is no doubt she is handing herself to the opinionated public-at-large on a silver platter. She is (all too willingly) letting herself be fodder for all kinds of rumor mills and gossip trees. And we, as consumers and bystanders, can easily get really pissed off and complain about how Miley is setting a horrible
example for girls and how she should be ashamed of her behavior. We could waste precious time insulting her choice of outfit, the condition of her body, and slut-shame her to
death. Blah, blah, blah. But what good would that do?! Instead, let’s collectively remember a few key points, which
I hope will be enough to stop us in our tracks and keep us from casting any aspersions:

Counting sins

  1. First and foremost, I am an incredibly
    imperfect human being (as are all of you). And, being as such, I
    have no right to insult someone else or cast judgment because they “sin”
    differently than I do
    . It’s really as simple as that. When I screw up
    and I am feeling particularly bad about myself, I don’t need more hate and
    judgment cast my way. But compassion, loving advice, and perhaps a kernel of empathy will help to do the trick. I try my best to give out to others
    what I know I seek for myself.
  2. I have absolutely no idea what it is
    like to walk a mile in Miley’s shoes or to pick something up with her foam
    finger. Nor do I have first-hand knowledge of what is going on behind the scenes in her twerky little life. But, what I DO know is that I have
    no right to insult from my non-celebrity soapbox
    . Behavior like that is
    usually either some sort of cry for help (a la Britney Spears), a publicity
    stunt, or an unfortunate combination of the two. If it’s a cry for help, I hope
    someone in her inner-circle loves her enough to give her the help (and/or love)
    she needs. For a poorly executed publicity stunt, please revert to #5 on this
  3. Because I don’t rely on MTV, the VMAs,
    tabloids, or reality television to teach my children what is acceptable
    unacceptable behavior, I physiologically can’t feel rage when some
    celebrity does something non-conventional and offensive. We don’t
    believe in
    glorifying “girls behaving badly” in our house, so we simply don’t tune
    in. Our
    family values are created and shaped at home. I can’t be overly upset about what America’s “role models” are doing if
    I don’t cast them as such
  4. The ways in which Madonna shocked
    us in 1984 isn’t really all that different from the way Miley shocked us in
    It’s all relative. Sssshhh! I’m gonna let you in on a little secret:
    Miley’s single – you know, the one on millions of children’s iPods – is about narcotic-induced
    bumpin’ and grinding. So, what did you think her performance of said song
    might look like? Something from Lawrence Welk? Wake up, people!
  5. Quite simply: the VMAs are looking for
    ratings, and they know America is a sucker for train wrecks, so that is why things like this keep happening. You don’t approve? Stop watching the VMAs…end of story. Vote with
    your remote and watch how quickly things change when the Nielsens take a
    nose-dive. If more people tuned in to Little House on the Prairie reruns than
    the VMAs, the VMAs would either cease to exist, or they would change their
    image altogether. Voting with ratings and wallets will forever be far more
    effective than a rant on social media or a tirade at the water cooler.

Every time you open this you vote for what kind of world you want

One could argue that we’ve become a populace of “Sweeping Generalizations” and
“Human Hostilities,” where we possess this self-imposed rating system on
egregious behavior. We then categorize and verbally brutalize. We declare a “war” on
everything (food, drugs, terror, mommies, etc) and not enough compassion, empathy, and love to go along with it. We
spend far too much time and effort pointing out what is wrong with the world
and not enough blood, sweat, and tears trying to affect a more positive change.
We have replaced altruism with apathy, pettiness, and condemnation. We’ve become a planet
of talking heads and scroogy souls. Ugh – I am so sick of it. It is time to do things differently.

If you are reading
this and you are often a Judgy McJudgy-pants, let’s try something together: the next time you are tempted to spend any
time bitching, griping, judging, and complaining about any external
sources – from pop culture to politics, GMOs to government, or families to
foreign policy – redirect that energy. Instead of projecting and proselytizing,
turn that energy inward and focus on how you can make your life and your world  a better place to be

We really can’t
control anything in this world but ourselves, so all of that complaining is just a waste of
energy anyways (at least until we all become so perfect that we have no choice
but to judge others for how they live their lives…).  🙂

Love one another

Instead of
complaining, you could:

  • Give someone a pat on the back
  • Tell a joke
  • Talk
    about what you love
  • Express
    deep gratitude
  • Write
    in your journal
  • Be
    a friend
  • Create
  • Give
    a hug
  • Pick
    up litter
  • Do
    a random act of kindness
  • Meditate
  • Make
    a donation to a worthy cause
  • Spend
    time with your spouse or your children
  • See
    a sunset
  • Take a picture
  • Take a deep breath
  • Read
    a book
  • Take
    a walk
  • Go
    to the gym
  • Come
    up with a plan
  • Focus
    on personal betterment
  • Etc,
    etc, etc.

Join me! I guarantee that
all of these suggestions are a much better use of your time and will do wonders
for your psyche. When you have inner peace, you will be surprised at how little
the external world at-large affects you.

you must do something beautiful

Go be the change,
people. The world is clamoring for all of us to do something to make it more

Much love,