Dear Daughters: Experiences Over Things

Dear Daughters,
We were away last week and I chose to not write TO you because I was busy enjoying time WITH you. That time away was actually the catalyst for today’s post. During the time when I would typically be sitting down to write this, we were in the air en route to Puerto Rico for our 2nd annual family spring break trip. I could have taken my computer out and “worked” when we got there as our room wasn’t ready…but looking at a screen wasn’t going to compare to seeing your faces light up when you saw the hotel pools for the first time. Typing on my keyboard wasn’t going to make me feel any happier than watching you savor your first frozen drinks of the trip. Had I been hyper-focused on writing, I would have missed interacting and noticing all of the “firsts” of the trip (the first dip in the pool, the first glance at the ocean, the first sighting of an approaching cruise ship, the first giggle over a Speedo, etc) …and interacting and noticing are what is most important during times like last week.

One of the main themes of our parenting style has been “EXPERIENCES OVER THINGS.” That is why, when you were little, we had amazingly fun, themed birthday parties instead of buying you big presents. It is why I make it a point to have you invite friends to concerts with us. It is why I like to take trips into the city with you and have family game nights and sit down to dinner together. It is why I insist that all technology be put away during family vacations so we can make the most of our time together, and make the most of our time amidst beautiful surroundings and beautiful people.

I know you will never remember what presents you got for your 7th, 12th, 15th birthdays..but you remember your amazing birthday parties and the friends you had by your sides. You have no clue what you got for Christmas four years ago, but you remember the time Auntie Lisa surprised us with a Christmas trip home and you ‘opened her up’ inside a giant gift bag in G’s car. And, you can tell me all about the Sugarland concert when Brenna smelled marijuana for the first time (and thought it was barbeque) and Shay found her wee soulmate boyfriend, who was also playing a guitar in a cowboy hat and boots.

I have no way of knowing what the future will bring. I have no way of knowing what values systems you will have as you get older and build lives of your own. But, I really hope you carry these foundational beliefs from your upbringing with you:

• True connection doesn’t happen on a screen—it’s the face-to-face moments and memories that matter.
• Experiences trump material things any day of the week (and presence trumps presents).
• Your memories will bring you greater joy than any gadget or gizmo ever could.

I love you both more than words can express!
XOXO
Mumma