A couple weeks ago, I asked the people closest to me for some space. The world is a noisy place and, for me, space = clarity. Plus, even though you would never suspect it, I am 40% introvert and being away from everyone and everything from time to time is how I recharge and replenish my energy.
I backed off from social engagements, I took a step back in my business, asked family members to give me radio silence for a bit, and I got really, really quiet.
Know why?
Because I needed it. Full stop.
Here’s what I want you to know about space, because it might help you to either ask for it clearly and unapologetically or be there for someone in your life in the way they need you to:
🌾 Some people (like me) prefer silence when they are in the midst of processing, thinking, planning, growing, stretching, and figuring shit out. I come out of the cave when my heart and my head tell me it is safe and I am ready. Some people solicit the opinions of everyone they know or they blast that shit all over social media so they can get lots of attention…I am not one of those people.
🌾 Asking for space is not selfish. It can be a healthy boundaries practice and a powerful self-care tool; especially if you have people and things in your life that require a lot of energy close up.
🌾 Space doesn’t always mean that something is wrong or someone is mad or a break-up is imminent (although, it can mean that too, and that’s okay).
🌾 When someone asks for space, give it to them. When/if they want to talk to you about it, they will. If they don’t want to—respect that.
🌾 Sometimes people need space because they don’t feel they can trust people with where they are and what they are going through. Or it’s a privacy issue. Again, also okay.
🌾 Asking for space is not “the silent treatment.” Refer to my previous comment about boundaries and self-care.
🌾 I really try to say what I mean and mean what I say, so if I ask for space, I am not subliminally asking for help or unsolicited opinions. When I want/need help, I ask for that directly.
🌾 When people ask for space they don’t want to have to justify or explain the need for space because that uses up the energy that they are conserving to process/plan/think/grow/stretch/figure shit out…they just want space.
🌾 If someone asking for space feels threatening to you, please do some work around that and figure out why it feels threatening.
🌾 Giving people space when they ask for it is a gift, just like being there for someone when they ask for it is a gift. You are simply being there for someone in perhaps a different way than you are used to. Maybe try to just give the gift without expecting anything in return.
I hope this helps someone who might see it today. Maybe it helps you ask for some space when you are typically unaccustomed to doing so. And/or maybe it helps you support someone else in a way that you aren’t used to when they need space.