Have you ever invested time and money in something but didn’t get the results you desired?
Maybe you signed up for a weight loss program, but you didn’t lose any weight.
Or you hired a professional coach, and after your contract was up you still felt stuck.
You thought the therapist was going to fix your marriage, but you still needed to hire an attorney for your contentious divorce.
When these things happen and your results don’t match up with your expectations, it’s tempting to want to blame the coach or the therapist or the program.
S/he didn’t deliver.
The program sucks.
It’s all a scam.
Leave bad reviews on Yelp and blistering comments on social media.
However, that is a misguided cop-out. Quite often, the problem isn’t with the coach, the professional, or the program—the problem resides with YOU. If you throw money at a problem BEFORE you commit to fixing your mindset, you will never get the results you desire.
Root Cause:
Given that I have a medical background, I talk a lot about ROOT CAUSE in my work with students and clients. If you don’t know the root cause of the issues or challenges you are facing (failed relationships, self-sabotage, yo-yo dieting, addiction, poor money management, etc) you will never be able to arrive at an effective solution—no matter how much money you throw at the problem or how many professionals you consult with.
Let’s take the example of a headache. You can pop the pain relief pills…but they mask symptoms and act as a band-aid. Maybe you change your diet assuming the headaches are food related, when what you really need is to consistently stretch your neck muscles because they are tight from being hunched over a computer all day.
Attempted and failed to lose weight a million times? It’s not the diet that’s not working, it’s your mindset.
Same dead-end relationships over and over again? Your belief system is keeping you stuck in toxic patterns.
The More You Know:
If you don’t know the root cause, you cannot adequately and effectively manage the situation. Period.
- You have to get to the root of WHY something is a challenge for you before you can attempt to fix it.
Is this a limiting belief?
The result of life-long conditioning?
A by-product of low self-esteem? - You must know the origin of WHAT is holding you back before you can ever expect to break free.
Is it your circle of influence?
Is it your self-talk?
Do you lack self-worth and respect? - You have to discover HOW you best respond and in what ways you need to be held accountable.
Are you trying to be a do-it-yourselfer when what you really need is a supportive, productive kick in the ass?
Do you need gentle nudges or full-on hand-holding?
Do you prefer to work alone or as part of a group? - And you have to be able to set realistic expectations about WHEN you might start to witness a transformation and what kind of work it will entail on your part.
Not everything is a quick fix.
There are a lot of moving parts to transformative work.
If it took you 10 years to dig the hole, gain the weight, dissolve the relationship—it is going to take you some time to successfully achieve the opposite.
First Things First:
We are fast approaching the end of a decade. It is going to be tempting to sign up for ALL. THE. THINGS, make all the transformations, and envision your quick-fix, shiny new self.
But, before you Venmo payment for a single class, program, or coach—I want you to check your mindset and ask yourself the following questions:
- Am I 100% committed?
- Am I ready to do the work—ALL of the work—that is going to be asked of me?
- Am I open to hearing difficult and authentic feedback? Or do I want to keep my head in the sand?
- Am I looking for a quick fix and/or an unsustainable solution?
- Do I have any limited or conditional beliefs that might hinder my progress?
- Am I coming at this with a growth mindset or a fixed mindset?
- Is this a bandaid for something else that needs to be addressed FIRST?
- Do I have an encouraging and loving support system in place?
And, the biggest question of all to ask yourself: Who is 100% responsible for my successes or my failures?
I will answer that one for you…the answer is YOU! You are responsible. So it is time to do what needs to be done to actually break through those limitations and get you the results you are after.
In every single program and with every single client, I work with them on mindset FIRST. Because it is THE key to lasting transformation. It’s the magic bullet. It’s all too often the missing link.
Want to learn more about my upcoming in-studio programs?
Want to explore some coaching work with me?
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Feel free to contact me at any time.